Last night on TLC there was a special on Ted Haggard called Scandalous.
If you don't know who Ted Haggard is or why there would be a show about him, just google his name... here, I did it for you. I don't expect everyone to know the story, though it has been national news, the people who know me well know the story.
Every time Ted Haggard pops up in the national news I get at least one person texting me or calling me or leaving me a message on Facebook, which is the only reason I am putting anything about it here on my blog.
After the show last night I laid in bed thinking about it, about his family, his new church and then I wrote this post in my head. Then I fell asleep and forgot it all :)
In the beginning, when the 'scandal' first broke I felt hurt, I was in disbelief, and I felt forgiveness. I don't know why, maybe because forgiveness comes easily for me, I'm not saying it's a great thing or that I'm better than anyone else, I'm just saying it's easier for me than others, a personality trait of mine is being able to put myself in others' shoes and understand where they are coming from. (Sorry, I'm not fresh on my Myers-Briggs right now). Anyway, I didn't care so much about what he did, I felt bad for his family, our church. People all over the country called me to get the real story, but that was always unclear. I didn't really care what the details of the real story were. I know that EVERY person has something in their life that they wouldn't want broadcasted on FOX or Oprah, or the local news or heaven forbid, CNN. It may not be that big of a deal or 'scandalous' but I do think everyone has something in their life that they aren't proud of, maybe a secret from the past, maybe a secret they are keeping now, or sin in their life. Ted Haggard's sin was exposed and put on national news.
I defended him for a long time using that argument. I never felt that what he did was okay, especially in the position of leadership God had put him in, but his fall was going to be longer than the average human.
In the last year or two Stephen and I completely stepped away from what had happened, not on purpose, it's just not something we dwell on. I honestly didn't know he was starting a church and even told someone he wasn't (oops.) I thought he was just having meetings at his home and offering counseling to those who wanted it. I personally thought it was too soon for him to start a church.
Well, fast forward to last night. Stephen and I watched the special, a documentary on the week prior to and opening Sunday of Ted's new church, which meets in their barn. I thought it was good. I see parts of how he has changed. His message is love and his actions show love. He is willing to be personable and helpful and loving to anyone who will accept him, and those who don't. It showed him meeting with a drug addict and a couple in need of counseling, things I don't think he would have had time for... five years ago. I think he is genuinely accepting of everyone and wants to help those in need. He wants to show the love of God. I think it's basic Christianity and I think its what Jesus did in His ministry.
On the show it repeatedly showed Ted dealing with people in interviews or people randomly calling his home and bringing up the past, the scandal, wanting to know the details, wanting Ted to just say that he is gay. Ted has a hard time with that and wants people to focus on what he is doing now. For me, four years ago does not seem like a long time ago, everything that happened feels recent and fresh. I think a huge part of the consequence of what he did will be people remembering him for the scandal in his life. Maybe not his family, friends, members of his new church, but people who just recognize the name Ted Haggard... as much as he doesn't want that to be the case.
One of my biggest issues with Ted and his new church (though, note, I have never been) is that on the show he did say: "I am a loser, this is a church for losers". He markets St. James, his new church, as a place for a bunch of misfits. I get it, I get that he wants to reach people that feel like they wouldn't be accepted in a typical church, but I don't like the vibe. I feel like when 'losers' get together they bring each other down, not build each other up, they unite against people that make them feel bad. Misery loves company. I am not saying that is what Ted or his congregation is doing, again I have never been to his church. It is just what I feel when I see St. James being marketed that way. I can only hope and pray that this church is Biblical (in my heart, I believe it is) and that they are helping people and leading them to the Father.
A few last thoughts before this gets any longer. I wish Ted and his family would stay out of the spot light. It sounds harsh in a way that I would not want to say it to their faces, no way. I understand their longing for redemption in the public eye, but I think they need to just focus on themselves and what is important to their real life... not their tv and internet life. I don't think it's helping them at all and honestly makes him come across crazy, while in real life I do not believe he is. I'm not necessarily a supporter, I'm definitely not a hater. I am also not going to spend any more time defending him, honestly, because I no longer know Ted or his family personally. Oh, also, if you saw the special and wondered how Ted's two boys painted the entire barn the day before the first service... my inside source (Stephen) tells me they actually had a crew of about 50 people helping paint and get things ready... I guess the TLC camera's missed that one.
Lastly, if you've been wondering, no, Stephen and I have no interest in attending his church. We are happy where we are and mostly don't want to be caught up in drama or risk being on national tv (at least I'm speaking for myself here :)
I may have some insight to the situation, but really I know just about as much as anyone who could hear the story from Oprah. I don't mind sharing, but honestly am not the expert! Actually, if you want, you can call Ted yourself! Like he says, his number is in the phone book! ; D
Here's a nice little transition photo into my last post ; )
Awesome candle 'beams' included!
I watched that show with my wife last night and was actually pretty saddened by the whole thing. I agree that it is wrong for anyone to have all of their dirty laundry aired on national TV and from what Ted says, it seems like the church did not really handle things in the best way possible either (spoken not knowing the whole situation of how it all went down and with the aid of hindsight). But the thing that saddened me the most was the seeming lack of an awareness of God's grace and God's place within all of this story. I mean he talked about himself the whole time and I only remember hearing the word God once. I'm sure that some of the "God-talk" was edited out, but from an outsiders perspective it really seemed like Ted was doing this as a sort of penance and a way to restore himself instead of recognizing that we're all broken and in need of a Savior each and every day of our lives.
ReplyDeleteI think that his vision of a church where everyone is loved and accepted is not really all that revolutionary, but it's actually how the church is supposed to function, and if we, as the body of Christ, are doing our jobs then each and every church that purports to be Christian ought to be welcoming to everyone, even those that are "losers".
God is a God of second and twentieth chances and as a friend of mine says all the time, He did not save us because He has good taste. God loves us no matter what and I really do wish Ted and his family the best of it, but I really do hope that the message becomes less about the act of love and instead the source of all true love, the Triune God.
Gail came to Catalyst this year and I sat in on her session. It was really enlightening and challenging. I guess I realized that I had made a judgement on their situation without putting myself in their place and was convicted. I think of you every time I hear Ted's name (and then I think of Shelbs), and I remember talking about this topic on our walk around the lake this summer. I'm glad you wrote this and shared your thoughts here. Like you and Sam, I really do hope that the new church is a place focused on the Grace and Love of God above anything else.
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